To keep from going totally insane, I just kept muttering to myself "at least I won't be on that August 17 riff raff line"

Yeah yeah, I was on the Götterdämmerung line too. I was the one behind the lady who said "Oh, ever since 9/11 or 9/21 or whenever that was ..." and in front of another who said "I go to anything Faust. Is the Damnation of Faust about Faust? I hope so."

Anyway, after five hours in line, I discovered, upon examining my hoard, that I unknowingly gave the Met more than $50 total for some "facility fee." At an average of two to three visits per performance (depending on length of opera, prior libation, and any necessary *ahem* "equipment" change), that amounts to about 50 cents a pee. (At that rate, moist towelettes ought to be provided.)

Meanwhile, the only way to pass the time for someone who left his iPod at home was to chat with line mates who liked to say "SONnamBYOOlah" and think that Dessay is like the best comedic actress they've seen on stage. I laugh at Dessay too, I told one.

After Jessye Norman's historic Met telecast "Du bist der Lenz" was shown on the flat screen TV by the box office, one queen remarked that Jessye was out of breath the entire time and that her delivery was choppy and lacked refinement. I wanted to smack the fag.

I'm hating opera fans this week. (Meanwhile, I'm loving the Olympic men's synchronized diving boys. It's a bit wrong and very illegal, I know.)