14 January 2008

first love

From an unauthorized biography of Tom Cruise, by Andrew Morton, arriving at your local bookstore and library any day now, some juicy excerpts:

Page 289: Without naming his sources, Morton spins the following yarn: "Some [Scientology] sect members sincerely believed that Katie Holmes was carrying the baby who would be the vessel for L. Ron Hubbard's spirit when he returned from his trip around the galaxy. True believers were convinced that Tom's spawn would be the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. Some Sea Org fanatics even wondered if the actress had been impregnated with Hubbard's frozen sperm." How'd Katie feel about all this? Morton puts his intuitive powers to the test to produce this gem: "Katie might have felt as if she were in the middle of a real-life version of the horror movie Rosemary's Baby, in which an unsuspecting young woman is impregnated with the Devil's child."
Back in the late 80s, the appointed decade of my sexual awakening, my sister had on her bedroom wall a life-sized Top Gun poster of the picture above. Are you kidding, of course I got it for her for Christmas. But oh how many tropical afternoons I spent lying in my sister's bed staring up at this American Hero--heat furiously circulating in small spaces--dreaming up scenarios of how one day I'd find myself in America, face to face with Tom. (Will he recognize me?) Years have passed, thousands of miles travelled, degrees earned-- yet I'd still claw my way to the front of the line to volunteer to be vessel to Tom Cruise's spawn. I don't care if it's Hubbard, the devil, or whatever else Scientologists give birth to. This is the complete truth.