13 December 2005

Tragedy, part 2

1. You remember her from the Renée Daphne. She's the girl your mother warned you about. ("Stop smelling that ticket, or you'll turn into that girl.") She's Klytamnestra to Lois Kirschenbaum's Chrysothemis; more accurately, Fifth Serving Maid to Lois's Klytamnestra. She's the missing puzzle piece, the loose tile, the f in freak. She even scares Dolora.

2. Let's call her Heidi.

3. HEIDI: "Maestro, I waited all night for that scene where Roberta drowns and she's in the water shaking and drowning, I waited and waited, but I missed it, I just don't know how I did, and I know I didn't doze off or anything, but how could that be, I can't believe I missed it, what happened ..."
JAMES CONLON: "We had it tonight, that scene was there, I saw it."

4. Incidentally, last evening was also the occasion of Maestro Conlon's 250 performance with the company, the third American (after Thomas Schippers and James Levine) to reach that milestone. Schippers ended up with 300+ appearances, while James the Greater's number is in the thousands.

5. LOIS: "Maestro, congratulations on your 25oth performance with the Met. I know you debuted in 1976, but I can't recall which opera it was."
CONLON: "It was the Magic Flute."
LOIS: "I know I was there, but I just can't remember ..."
SIEGLINDE (to self): "Of course you were. Meanwhile, I was on Sesame Street, learning my ABCs and I love you's with Ernie and Bert."

6. David Daniels was there, visiting his mezzofriends.
LOIS, HEIDI, CHORUS: "David!! When are we seeing you next?"
DAVID (cornered): "Not until 2007."
LOIS, HEIDI, CHORUS: AAAAH ... NO!!! That can't be!! (moan ... moan ... groan ...)
DAVID (to self): "Yeah, can't wait see you and do this shit in '07 ... Susan, let's f*ckin go now ... help! "

7. OK, Sieglinde knows y'all are waiting for pics of Nathan the Gunn. Here he is, boyish and 100% USDA prime grade beefy, signing Heidi's program, parking ticket, and other things, all under the protective gaze of Jessye, Goddess of Stage Door.

8. There're a couple more pics of Nathan somewhere, but in the meantime, here's Heidi, about to pounce at Richard Bernstein (who sings the part of the DA). He survived, but barely. [ERRATUM: A reader alerts Sieglinde that the victim pictured below isn't Bernstein but actually Kim Begley, who plays Samuel Griffiths. I'll have to confirm this info with DNA samples I collect from Heidi the next time I see her.]

9. Meanwhile ... I swear to Ghena, this is true.
HEIDI (holding a Sharpie marker, pushing Jennifer Larmore aside): "Did anyone find a cap? I lost my cap ... where's my cap. Did you see my cap ..."

10. More later ...