14 June 2005

Mon coeur s'ouvre a ta (ahem)

adventures in opera dating

Can someone help this Craigslisting Brooklynite out? He needs a date for the Samson et Dalila at sultry Prospect Park. Sieglinde thought the boy's ad was fine ... till he pulls out the old "Russian dramatic mezzo at the Met" card, which we all know screams "shut-in," "please, I wanna have your baby," or "stalker fan of Denyce Graves." But anyway, let's be real for a second, and look at your situation: (1) the species populating the the Met Grand Tier Promenade at intermission isn't really a promising gene pool, (2) queen can't live by bread and Renée alone, (3) each CD you buy is an hour closer to utter isolation, (4) thighmaster José Cura doesn't come to New York that often (but acknowledging that his videos are such gifts that keep on giving). So creampuff, clock's ticking, can't be too picky these days, girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, so there.